don't call me a cougar

Ok people, so I know this may be hard to take but having worked with male doctors for more than a decade, I feel that I have to dispel the myth and let you know that it’s not all George Clooney when it comes to male doctors.!

Whenever I meet people ( mainly of the fairer sex) and they find out that I’m surrounded by male doctors all day, the frisson of excitement is almost palpable as images of George Clooney in ER or the latest stud in Grey’s Anatomy spring to their minds.
I really wish I could keep their dream alive but as they listen to reality and the myth is dispelled their disappointment all too real.

So, the next question is always, so what are they really like then??
Well, male doctors tend to fall into different categories according to their chosen specialty.

1. The Surgeon
Without exception, he is the classic type A personality. His patients are generally anaesthetised, so that his complete lack of any decent communication skills is not a hindrance to his career progression.

Most likely to drink 15 pints of beer and then 1pint of his own urine in a drinking game with the boys after the rugby and most likely to marry an English rose, less intelligent girl. Someone who will need to constantly massage his burgeoning ego to keep him happy.

Least likely to be gay ( or at least admit he is) or change a nappy

2. The Paediatrician
Generally a thoroughly nice chap- it’s difficult being arrogant and pompous when your 4 year old patient tells you that you smell or that your fly is undone! However, don’t expect excitement or an adrenaline rush

Most likely to be gay and/or wear matching comedy tie and socks with comfortable sandals.

Least likely to: know that a “Brazilian” has something to do with a woman’s nether regions

3. The Gastroenterologist
This Doctor has chosen to spend much of his time putting cameras in orifices where the sun doesn’t shine!

Most likely to have a long detailed conversation with you about your excrement and actually be interested

Least likely to be constipated

4. The Gynaecologist
This Doctor has chosen to spend his life with his hands and instruments in and around the more delicate parts of the female anatomy.

Most likely to be charming, verging on sleazy. He will charm the pants off you – literally

Least likely to be faithful

One last thought of course, not all men conform to stereotypes, so maybe, just, maybe your George Clooney doctor is out there. However, if you do find him, you had better snap him up quickly because remember that he is surrounded by a gaggle of female nurses all day, fierce competition indeed!

By Doc Lollipop